A La Liz Lemon

I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother… Who will kill bugs for me because I hate the feeling of crushing their little bodies. Someone who will call me just to say hi and can actually express his feelings. Someone who understands that I’m crazy and is, if not ok with it, at least tolerates it with an irritated look on his face.  Someone who never gives me cause to doubt their affection. Someone who won’t talk during movies but lets me.  Someone who knows the importance of the small, random, romantic gestures but usually ruins them but making a dirty joke. Someone who will get me down to two choices in less than 15 minutes so that I’m not starving by the time we eat. I want someone who loves to cuddle right up until it’s time to fall asleep and then will roll to the other side of the bed. I want someone handy enough to fix things, humble enough to hire someone and smart enough to read the directions first. I want someone to understand and accept that I need a lot of attention and find it endearing and fulfill it to the best of their ability. Someone who likes my friends doesn’t drink too much and likes to go out to brunch and dinner. Someone who is excited to tell me about all the big and small things in their life and interested in hearing about mine… Someone to genuinely like me. Even when I’m old. That’s what I want.