Free Time

This is my first almost free weekend in a month. In fact I have Saturday completely free. Void of all plans recreational or otherwise.

I should be happy right? I’ve been busy, working pretty much non-stop, nothing overly taxing but still pretty much constant comings and goings. However, the prospect of a free Saturday makes me anxious.

It’s strange how perpetual plans and a busy schedule make me breathe easier than ‘free time.’ A free Saturday is great in theory. I could get up, go for a walk, try out some of the new two bite cupcake recipes we just got in at the library, go out for coffee, read a whole book, do laundry, go shopping, update my iPhone, dust, watch a movie, go for a drive, master a foreign language, duct tape myself to a door or learn how to juggle. But I will probably just sleep too late, wake up and wander around the house in my ugly orange sweatshirt and complain to the dog about how bored I am.

I know I’ve mentioned this before but I like being around people. So most likely I will book up my free time with friends and family and have a glorious Saturday of non-free time. But, it bothers me that I don’t like free time. It bothers me that I can’t just spend a day alone baking and juggling. Other people adore free time and they spend their days off alone completing amazing lists of their own and loving it. Bitches.

There is a kind of free time in which I can complete amazing lists and have a wonderful time by myself. Stolen free time…ah yes, stolen free time. If you’ve gone to college you know exactly what stolen free time is. It is when you wake up for class, get dress have your books and you are standing at your dorm room door, then you don’t go to class. You get a similar feeling on a snow day, when you had plans but they are cancelled at the last minute and you are so jazzed about the cancellation that you are hyper productive. However, stolen free time is a little different than a snow day. Stolen free time does have any outside expectation placed upon it, you don’t have to relax and enjoy your unexpected day off. You have made the choice yourself not to go to class, despite being fully prepared, you suddenly have 3 hours of freedom and you are already out of bed, dressed and caffeinated.

This is when free time works for me. Unfortunately you cannot have stolen free time on a regular basis without your grades or job suffering. So, I am left with my wide open Saturday and a little knot in my stomach and I’m asking….

Does anyone want to hang out on Saturday?