Neither Here Nor There

How to get there from here?

I would like to get there. There being where I want to be. There involves; a small house, a big love, lots of books, bulky sweaters, puppies, babies, gardens, busy week days, lazy weekends, cup cakes and coffee.

More abstractly there is settled. Settled and simple and content. There doesn’t have to be happy all the time, it can be crazy and irrational just like any where, but there, on the whole is simple and full of love and peonies.

Here is too confusing. Too much is on the line here. Too much unsettled and uprooted here.

I understand there is a point to here. Here is where I am. So I should inhabit here, now, embrace here. And I also understand that without here there will never exists.

But I would like to know how long do I have to be here? And… how do I get there from here?

I feel as if I’ve been here for a while now, where should I go now. I know I cannot go directly from here to there, but what is in between here and there. Are there land marks? Turn left at the giant chicken and you’re almost there.

Or is it like Boston; you can’t get there from here?

No no no, I feel as if there is relatively simple, yet here I am, not there yet.

I feel like I am making mistakes in trying so hard to get there. Like trying to get there will sabotage the there I’m trying to get to. I wish I could just make here simple. Make my here more like there. Or maybe I have a there delusion. There is no there.

Or maybe there just comes from time here and here will so slowly turn in to there that I will get there without noticing.

There there there

Here here