Ugly and Large

All the miles, hours, gallons of water

I’ve wasted on my own loneliness

I’m reaching that point when I start having trouble writing. That point where the sorrow becomes suffocating. There are no real words for anything as it is. How do you articulate emotions?

I am sad, happy, scared…do these monosyllabic words really say anything?

I am heavy lonely

I am under 7 wet warm wool blankets

I am suffocating underneath a feeling

I hate hope

That thing with feathers I would pluck out

Snap its neck or let it drown

It is that hope that brings me so low

Like hope is a hole, uncovered I can see sky

But with every disappointment

I am buried alive

Can’t just one thing go right?

Why am I always alone?