We all compile lists, on paper or in our minds, of that perfect person. There are qualities we look for in a significant other and attributes we avoid. Lately I’ve been realizing my list is very hard to match and it’s not just for potential lovers, it’s everything.
I am looking for a new therapist and on the handy-dandy Blue Cross Blue Shield website you can set parameters for a search.
Distance -Within 20miles
Gender - Female
Psychology - Behavioral Cognitive
Education - PhD.
Specializes in - Adult, Trauma, Depression, Anxiety etc.
What a shock, there are no matches that meet your criteria, please try again. Welcome to my life Blue Cross Blue Shield. Here’s the kicker, I don’t even think my selected criteria are that out there. It’s not that much to ask…is it? For a nice lady, with a good education and experience with a variety of problems to live within 20miles of me? And those are only the boxes I can check. Here are a few additional parameters I would like to set…
Not 800years old
Kink Friendly
Won’t tell me what’s wrong with me, will let me get there on my own
Not going to try and medicate me
Kind
No crystals or chanting
Your office shouldn’t smell like death and disinfectant
Cookies (chocolate chunk, warm, with milk)
Ok so my additional parameters may just be wishful thinking. I understand Blue Cross Blue Shield that I’m asking a lot but you can’t even meet my most basic needs, the ones that you have boxes for. So really what good are you? Don’t look at me that way Blue Cross Blue Shield, I’m trying to get help and you are making it difficult, not me!
Aside from wanting warm plate of cookies I don’t think my guidelines for the perfect therapist are too out there. But maybe I am deluded, maybe all my lists are insane and I should just accept what I can get. No cookies. No boyfriend. No mental health. I’m being dramatic.
We are told as children that we can be anything, that we can do anything and that we should expect everything. This is an American value system admittedly (but if you are reading this then most likely it is the cards you were dealt too). How often do we get what we want? And not the milk and cookies version but the bare minimum, the basic boxes or our needs checked and matches returned.
I’m not just talking about relationships or therapist…do we live up to our own expectations? Do our friends? Our coffee? Our libraries? Are we asking too much? Am I asking too much?
Blue Cross Blue Shield seems to think so, maybe I need a new list.
"No crystals and chanting" made me smile. I went to my last therapist looking to cope with some rage issues.
ReplyDeleteShe wanted me to do a few yoga poses with her and some incense burning. While I would enjoy that with a friend, I was pretty ripshit and certainly more ripshit that I had paid several $20 payments to work on my feeling chronically ripshit in the first place.
I feel you, girl and I don't think wanting a half decent therapist and an inkling of a half decent life is deluded at all.
I had a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee this morning and it tasted bitter and unsatisfying. Turns out that Dunkin Donuts mislabeled my coffee and I was drinking the coffee my roommate ordered without sugar. Once I got mine, which had skim milk and equal like I ordered, I was content.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we get things that are close, but no cigar. And maybe that's because what we're doing isn't for us. Maybe what we're up to works for someone else, but doesn't meet our specifications. And, best of all, once our specifications are met, things can be blissful.
That's not to say things are perfect; coffee still makes my tummy VERY unhappy, but enjoyment is worth a little aggravation.